I recently read an article by Marshall Goldsmith entitled, “When Winning Isn’t Worth It” written primarily for business people.  But as I read the article, I realized how much it applied to parenting.  Take this test for yourself and see how you do.

You want to go to dinner at restaurant X.  Your spouse and your friends want to go to restaurant Y.  After some discussion, you end up going to restaurant Y where the service turns out to be lousy and the food even worse.  Do you choose option A:  Critique the service and point out how wrong everyone else was or B: Shut up and have a nice evening with friends.  Everyone knows the answer is B, but many of us who love to win just can’t help ourselves

I thought how appropriate this is in parenting when we know we are right, and the child probably knows we are right, but we just can’t help ourselves.  We have something to prove and we need to point this out to everyone who will listen.  As a parent, have you ever had the need to prove to your child (especially teens) that they were wrong on a minor or trivial point?  Was it worth it to win the battle?   In almost all cases the answer is NO.  

I remember taking a Sunday School class years ago aimed at parenting and the theme that was discussed almost every week was two things:  1. pick your battles and 2. what is more important, winning the battle or the relationship?  In most cases the point doesn’t matter that much and the relationship means everything.  

I know that I’m as guilty as the rest of you of this subject and probably worse than most.  So as a reminder to all of us as the summer months wear on, pick your battles.  Are the holey jeans, excessive make-up, or droopy pants worth damaging the relationship you have with your son or daughter?  Try to focus on the major issues in their life and learn to let go of everything else.  After all, isn’t that what Christ does with us every day?  Until next week … Walk in Love.

Lord, I thank you for my child / children.  There are times when (he, she) is difficult to understand and can make life so frustrating.  Help me during those times to remain calm and patient, just like you do with me.  Help me recognize the true source of the disagreement and make the appropriate comments to diffuse the situation.  Give me Your heart so that I can become the loving parent You desire me to be and give me peace for all of life’s difficult circumstances.  In Jesus name.
                       
Romans 14:1 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.   (The Message)

The peace of God is an eternal calm like the cushion of the sea.  It lies so deeply within the human heart that no external difficulty or disturbance can reach it.  Anyone who enters the presence of God becomes a partaker of that undisturbed and undisputable calm.   Arthur Pierson